He Heard My Prayer

I struggled to get to the doorway.  Where was my energy, motivation, drive, and stamina that I'd always had?  I couldn't express my feelings.  Half the time I didn't even know what they were, but for once in my life I felt the pain, hurt, and misery that I'd bottled up for years.  The feeling hit me like a wave, unstoppable, strong, and crushing. My heart ached, my mind lost, my body weary.  Drained I made my way to the couch and forced a smile across my face.  The woman I was meeting sat across from me.  Her face full of delight, she smiled and began to ask me how I was doing.  I sat upright, smiled, and continued to appear as if nothing was wrong.  I didn't want to expose my feelings of hurt and pain.  I needed to be strong and protect myself.  I sat there in silent frusteration with God.  Praying rapidly in my mind.  Venting all my lifes frusterations, questions, and concerns to God.  I just continued listening to the woman as she advised me on how to succeed my freshman year in college.  Discouraged with God's silence I felt overwhelmed, unheard, and abandoned by his voice.  I was impatient.  I wanted God to make everything clear right then and there.  I began to pray in my mind, "God why aren't you hearing me out, why aren't you listening, where did you go?"  Then interrupted by the woman's voice she said, "Is there anything you would like to pray about?"  I looked up at her and said, "Just to help me figure everything out."  Me anxious to leave and battling with a silent God in my head was glad to hear her finally getting to the traditional closing prayer of our discussion.  Bowing our heads; the woman praying aloud and me silently praying along with her.  Her words began to startle me.  How did she know what I was saying? Was I praying aloud?  Did I say something?  I opened my eyes in fear of finding myself talking without realization.  But instead I found a peacefull woman speaking the words from my prayer. Her words were so crystal clear and perfect.  They matched my every thought, feeling, and question identically.  I sat there in amazement watching her lips utter the words of my heart. Finally her eyes opened and met mine. Me in schock, quickly thanked her and walked out the door.  As I left my heart wasn't healed but it had changed.  I walked out with a new insight and whispered quietly, "Okay God I was wrong, you are there and you always were.  I was just to blind to see it."  I realized that day God doesn't always speak to you in the way you imagine. That day he suprised me and used that woman's voice to reach out to me.  He spoke through her to reveal to me that he truly did exisit and that He was listening to my every word.